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One thing I see in personal ads about what people enjoy doing together, besides fine dining and moonlit walks on the beach, is sharing wine. But I have to ask, are you talking about wine, wine, or whine, whine? From comments I’ve been hearing about Internet dating, I strongly suggest at this point is to get the ‘H’ out of there! And SOON!
I can’t think of a more incredible tool than the Internet to meet new people. Besides saving time and money, we can match up with anyone anywhere. (Who knows, in time, maybe we’ll finally get to meet all those people on Mars and Venus we keep hearing about!) I would brag about the neat guys I met on the Internet, while my friends were complaining because they, once again, didn’t get a hot date barhopping last weekend. (Ughhhh!)
But somewhere down the road, online dating has become bitter, hopeless, and pathetic. Why? Why are millions of singles Internet dating, but millions are still sitting home playing solitaire on the computer every Saturday night? Maybe it’s because WE have become bitter, hopeless, and pathetic. And it’s not just with Internet dating, it’s with ANY kind of dating!
Think about it. Have you ever looked in the mirror and wondered why you keep getting deleted or why you weren’t asked out a second time? Yeah, physical appearance is important … okay, real important, but I’m thinking, attitude wise. There’s an old saying, “like attracts like” (I guess that could mean sexual preference, too) but what I’m talking about is positive attracts positive, and you guessed it, negative attracts negative.
If you post an ad where you are whining about how lonely and desperate you are, chances are someone similar will respond. People say, “Why do I always attract selfish, mindless, uncaring people? Hmmm. I wonder why? Attitude seeps through the pores of our skin much stronger than garlic breath on a dog with gingivitis. What you write in your profile, what you talk about on dates, and what you complain to your friends about (that your date that had garlic breath and looked like a dog) is a direct reflection on you.
We’re so quick to find all the faults in someone on that very first date. Why do we do that? No one’s perfect, but they could be perfect for you, if you get off your high and mighty horse, and pitch your negative attitude off into a ditch. No one likes to think there’s anything wrong with him or herself, but take a second, reread your profile, take note of table conversation, and see what’s really being projected.
If you just put your dog to sleep, or if your cell phone company billed you for calls that weren’t yours (bet THAT never happens) or you get pulled over and the nice policeman gives you a ticket, and it ain’t for the Policeman’s Ball, save that for a conversation to have with your pillow when you get home.
We live in a negative society, (I know, a shocker, isn’t it?) and we hear nothing but negative stuff on the news and read about negative stuff in the paper. And it’s very easy for us to be that way as well. We can’t even go out to eat without complaining about the wait, or how slow the waitress is, or how cold the food is. Then we start complaining about our job, then the kids, and of course, how pathetic our love life is. STOP IT! Start paying attention to what you’re saying. How many times have you said, “I’ll never find anyone?” “No one will ever find me attractive.” “All the women are high maintenance and whiners.” “All the guys are short, fat, and bald.”
You create exactly what it is you think. Start visualizing about the right person for you. Start thinking about all the good qualities your mate has. Start feeling good about yourself, and quit feeling sorry for yourself.
Desperation is the first thing someone notices when you walk in the room. (Unless you’re wearing a short skirt and a low cut blouse, then it might be the second thing they notice) It reeks of loneliness. You may not THINK you’re desperate, but we know. Trust me. I finally had the ‘please call me, I’m begging you!’ tattoo removed from my forehead, and it works!
So, be happy, quit yer whining, go out, have fun, and be home by midnight!
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www.bevbacon.com
Bev Jarvis Bacon is an Internet dating expert and author of "Meet Me. Don't Delete Me!?"
For a complete bio, click here.
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