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Me: I think I found a way to deal with my assessment.
Him: Assessment? What assessment?
Me: Didn't I tell you? I got a really painful assessment on my condo last week. It's going to make my mortgage payment really ugly. Ugly, but doable. However, last night, I remembered I had a bunch of stock from MS buying PW at a seriously reduced rate. I checked it out this morning and found that it finishes vesting in July of 2005. If I buy then sell it all at that time, minus the taxes, I think I can pay off almost all of the assessment in one go and save my bacon.
Him: I'm glad you have a bacon-saving plan.
Me: *pause* thinking...ooo (Assessment, mortgage, stocks, vesting, taxes...) Shit. I sound like a grown up.
Him: Quick! Let's talk about cartoons, milkshakes, pop music and movies!
Yes, that conversation actually happened on IM between myself and a friend of mine in early 2005. It was when I irrefutably realized that I really had turned into a grown up. I mourned the loss of my childhood and my college-hood with a heavy heart. I talked about it with my friends and grieved on LiveJournal. Anyone who drops words like "mortgage" and "taxes" in an everyday conversation has to be a grown up.
Or, do they?
I still go out clubbing. I still game. I still love to go to the movies and get together with friends for TV night. I still go on road trips and random touristy visits. I still sleep in late on weekends. I still get excited at surprise parties for friends. I still enjoy the practical joke now and again. I'm still me. I'm not married. I have no kids. I can have sex on the couch or the in the bathroom or on the kitchen floor if I really want to with out feeling to scandalous. (Two points for the movie reference on the kitchen floor bit.)
However, I also have a job, credit cards, a condo, a mortgage, a special assessment and a 401K. I know how to balance my checkbook (which I do every month), stick to a budget, do my own taxes, study the stock market and consult with my finance guy. One would think all of these things would say that I am a grown up. I have adult responsibilities and should act accordingly.
In the immortal words of someone I can't be bothered to look up right now (it's not like you really care who said it anyway), "I may grow older but I will never grow up." I do all of these "grown up" things in order to protect my desire and ability to play as I wish. The toys are more sophisticated and the play is more complex but it is still play nonetheless.
Let's face it, we all like our playtime, and I don't know about your parents, but mine never told me the real reason they did what they did (the grown up things) was so they and their kids could have a good time. Nope. It was always for some big, scary words like "Security" and "Investments" and, my favorite, "the Future." In reality, it was so we all, my
parents included, would have a place to play, toys to play with and room to store our toys.
It really is OK to continue being a kid at heart while the adult side of you does the grown up things it has to do to protect your childish interests. Sometimes, it isn't an easy lesson to learn especially with the rest of society always telling you to "straighten up," "settle down," and "be an adult." Frankly, I liked being a bit askew. I don't want to 'settle' for anything. I'll leave the career of being an adult to those who have children and need to be adults for them.
Adulthood is what you choose to make of it.
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