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Do you remember “Show and Tell?” The anticipation and excitement you felt when you were five years old and it was your turn to show your favorite possession and then tell about it?
When you join an online dating service, you have much the same feeling of anticipation and excitement. The prospect of having people approve of you and possibly accept you as someone they want to have around them is exhilarating.
But how do you create a powerful and perfect online dating profile? We have all heard that honesty is the best policy…It is. Be honest. The person you are trying to attract will eventually agree to meet you if you have written an eye-catching profile.
Statistics show that people can only keep up a facade of playing someone other than themselves for 3-6 months. Do you want to find Mr./Mrs. Right only to lose him/her because you have become Mr./Mrs. Wrong to them? Adhere to the honesty policy.
Be clever and funny, but be sincere. If you’re funny, then show it in your writing. Don’t tell someone you’re funny, e.g. “I’m funny and have a great sense of humor.” That won’t make them a believer.
Here is an example of something funny and clever. Football fans will enjoy this one. (This is not for your profile, but used as an example of funny lines I have used when talking to an audience.):
“If your partner is more concerned about that 3rd and 1 on television, than the 4th and 23 in your own living room, then you might be another statistic on the playing field of love. Tell them to not try for a 58 yard field goal, go for six instead.”
Do you see what I’m writing about? Word pictures are very powerful tools that help draw the reader in and help to reveal who you are and what you are about.
Another important aspect of your online dating profile is you. Show them a picture of you. A picture speaks volumes (as long as the listener is tuned in) about who you are. If you say you are sporty but have a picture of you sitting on a couch, what does that say? Use a picture of you on a bike, in a race, waterskiing, etc.
The eyes reveal a lot in a picture. If they sparkle with what’s called a “catch light,” the viewer will be more drawn to you. (A catch light is the little light that shows up on the pupil). If your eyes look suave, the viewer will probably click you away.
Make sure to do a spelling and grammar check before you post to an online dating site. Words that are spelt incorrectly and bad punctuation can tune a lot of people out and then they will click you off.
A few last words of advice: Forget about negativity in your profile and don’t talk about ex-relationships. That will give the reader a sense that you are a serial dater and perhaps a heartbreaker.
Avoid phrases like: “I don’t play games.”; “I love long walks on the beach, candlelight dinners, and romantic nights by the fire.” You can show them that when you meet them.
Every person I have surveyed in the past has said that lines such as the above are red flags and a sign that he/she is a “player.”
Online dating can be fun, exciting and successful, but be safe and enjoy the process. When you finally connect with someone on an online dating site, agree to meet at a coffee shop during the day.
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This article gives good advice, but after reading hundreds of personal ads, I am convinced that most people have no clue as to what to write or how to write it. The problem is that the same people who are too lazy to write a good personal ad are the same people who are too lazy to read tips on how to create a good profile. They probably assume that a few hastily-scribbled sentences will have Mr. or Mrs. Right begging for a date. Frankly, it can be difficult for ANYONE to write about himself -- even for individuals like me who are professional writers. So, after staring at the screen and wondering what to write, I used the free www.myprofilewriter.com site that allows anyone to create a personal essay and headline without writing. I wish that more people would do that, because their profiles would be much more descriptive. I cringe every time I read a lame profile that says, "If you want to know more, just ask." That prompts me to think, "Buddy, there are ten million profiles on various dating sites, and I'm supposed to ask you questions in the hope that you have some desirable attributes? I don't think so!" On to the next profile!
- Alissa